Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Primary Program

This last Sunday was our Primary Program. In our church the kids go to separate classes for the second and third hour. This is all the kids ages 3-12. Every year they put on a big program during sacrament meeting where they sing songs and give talks that they have been working on all year. It is always the highlight of my year and I so look forward to it. This is even before I had kids. Now that I have kids actually participating, I love it even more.

This week's was a bit tough for me.

Evan did a wonderful job. He was reverent and sang and smiled and then he gave a talk that he wrote himself. It was about why he loves the Savior. He said he loves Him because He died for us so that we can repent. It was very sweet and tender hearted. I love watching him do things like that.

Griffin was a challenge. Going in we knew that he was going to have some issues. We had prepared him in the weeks previous as they practiced. It was a new setting for him with a new schedule. This makes everything a little scary and he acts out. His "acting out" is in the form of spinning around, crawling on and under seats, making loud and strange noises, etc...Not too terrible, but not great either. In the last practice Ryan had to go up and sit with him to help him control himself.

On the way to church we talked about how it was going to be different and we went over his part again and again. I thought maybe he would pull it off. What I didn't think about was how difficult it would be for me to watch him implode.

I watch him up on the stand, knowing that he is uncomfortable. That he is in over his head and he doesn't know how to react. It is simply too much for him. We tried it without Ryan for the first 5 min or so but soon enough we realized that Ryan needed to go up. What others might see as a boy misbehaving I know is a boy who has no idea how to handle a situation that is uncomfortable at best and scary at worst. I couldn't help but cry as I watched him struggle. I felt fairly helpless. Finally it was too much and Ryan brought him out to the foyer. He cried and cried and cried. It made me so sad because here is a boy who so badly wanted to succeed. To sit with his friends and sing songs, but he doesn't have the skills to accomplish this, even when he wants it so badly.

So I watched the rest of the program, holding Hallie on my lap, with tears in my eyes. So happy the Evan was a success and hurting so badly for Griffin.

I know it is a simple thing. In the grand scheme of things, it is just a primary program. But it was one of those times when I was hit by the stark reality of his disability. Oh, how I love him. I want the world for this child and I will move mountains to see that he accomplishes all he sets out to do. I know he can do it, whatever it may be.

Ballroom Dancing

We had a really fun date last week and went to a ballroom dance clinic at the local studio. It was so much fun and relaxing. I really enjoyed it. What a nice way to spend a night together. So much better than dinner and a movie!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Scary stuff

Last week we had a scare. Evan was with Ryan at the school while Ryan helped with intramurals. They were outside playing at the park that is right next to the school. Ryan was not far from Evan at all.

A man stopped and told Evan that if he wanted candy he would need to get in his car. Evan ignored him and they drove off. Evan didn't tell Ryan right away. He told me about it an hour or so later. He was obviously confused and a little bit scared. He was upset at all the questioning and when we told him we were going to call the police he was worried that they would arrest him since he couldn't tell them what the man looked like.

The police came to our home and took his statement. They also pulled him out of school the following day to ask more questions.

After an investigation the detective found out that it was a high school kid playing a prank. I do not think it is funny at all. He will most likely be charged with disorderly conduct.

This was a big deal for Evan and for all of us. It brought up emotions you don't want to have and thoughts you really don't want to think about. I had a hard time with the what ifs for a day or so. I just couldn't stop thinking about what could have happened.

Evan was so proud of himself, and righfully so, for making the right choice. We have since had many conversations about what to do if it ever happens again. We are trying hard to make sure that Griffin knows too. He is the one I mainly worry about as he just doesn't understand that people could ever want to hurt him.

I'm thankful for Heavenly Father for watching out for us yet again.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Vote for Griffin!

I have entered Griffin into the Gap casting call. You can vote for him once a day until Nov. Please do so! He is so handsome, why wouldn't he win?!


I'm not fat for my height. I'm short for my weight.